According to Ferrari, listening is the front end of decision making; it is the most efficient route to informing the judgments that need to be made (p. 13).
Rather than immediately suggest a solution, Ferrari counsels us to approach a conversation as an opportunity to learn. Furthermore, he believes that everybody is a case study with an N of one!
Some clarifying questions when engaged in a conversation in which a decision is needed or an opinion is being asked:
- So are you telling me we should do this?
- Does this mean you think we move in this direction?
- You don’t quite agree with me on this one, do you? Why is that?
- Am I missing something here?
- Are we on the same page with this?
- I hear you, but I’m just not prepared to agree yet. Maybe I could hear a little more at a later date?
One nugget I took away from the book was “Will my comment or question cause my conversation partner (CP) to say more? Not more in terms of just words, but more in terms of analysis, information, insights?” (p. 44).
While this is still very much a work in progress for me, in the past 6 months or so, I have been able to employ this approach to good effect. Whereas in the past, I may have left a meeting or a conversation having assumed a course of action, I now try to challenge that assumption to bring greater clarity…and hopefully better decision making!